Analysis comment Exclusive

Exclusive: Starmer pinning conference hopes on cheesy ‘Starmer’s stars’

Insiders say candidates told not to announce selection to protect ‘fanfare’ – while group selecting candidates to appear on stage or by Zoom with Labour leader includes senior staffer behind 1am harassment-disciplinary email to Young Labour chair that was ‘rescinded’ with grovelling apology

Oven-ready disaster: Starmer’s cheesy stars (use of Wes Streeting’s face is for illustrative purposes only)

Keir Starmer is pinning his hopes on a conference relaunch (yes, another one) that involves him appearing with a set of candidates selected under neo-Labour’s new programme to bypass the wishes of local members – under the excruciatingly cheesy tag ‘Starmer’s stars’ – according to Labour sources.

Labour recently put out a call for applicants to stand for Parliament who didn’t even have to be current party members but would all be strictly vetted to make sure there was no embarrassing left politics in their social media history, in what was widely seen as yet another attempt to bypass the local democracy of Labour members and ensure the party only selects the most anodyne drones and careerists in future.

The deadline for applications to Labour’s ‘future candidates programme’ was extended last month in what may have been a sign of a dearth of applicants – and the announcement of a list of successful candidates was supposed to happen by last Friday. Unsurprisingly, Labour staff were behind on meeting the deadline and so have been working late – which fits with the embarrassing and later ‘rescinded’ 1am disciplinary email to Young Labour chair Jess Barnard.

And insiders say candidates are being told not to announce anything about their selection so that Starmer can bring out ‘Starmer’s stars’ on stage (and some by weblink) as a ‘surprise’ on the day of his conference speech, in the rather desperate hope of creating a ‘fanfare’ and the appearance of some kind of buzz about his policy-free party.

But the candidates look set to be as drab and bland as can be imagined. Each applicant had to agree, on their application form, to be probity checked – a task involving hours of social media trawls and clearly designed to ensure no left candidates get through, as any comments about solidarity with Palestinians or a liking for radical policies will be a red flag.

All this will be accompanied by a blitz on any national, regional and local media outlets friendly to Starmer and the Labour right. Successful candidates are believed to include a children’s author.

One of the team involved in the selections by-passing local party democracy is understood to be the same senior staffer who ordered a temporary staffer to send out the Barnard disciplinary email at 1am on World Suicide Prevention Day.

If correct, then at least one person influencing the process has a personal and factional agenda that may not wholly align with that of Starmer and his sidekick David Evans, potentially spoiling Starmer’s ‘Blair babes’ photo opportunity – a disaster when Starmer is pinning all his hopes on his conference speech and latest relaunch.

Tony’s embarrassing ‘Blair Babes’ photo opp

But either way, Starmer – fresh from his ‘WTF’ farce – is going to be attempting to present blancmange as something exciting – and he is conducting a similar exercise by turning his conference speech into a 14,000-word treatise that, despite its length, is still expected to contain no policies.

Meanwhile MPs will be waiting to see not only who Evans’s hand-picked candidates are but whether they are likely to be standing themselves at the next election – facing boundary changes that could cost them their seat has created a culture of fear of offending or criticising Evans and Starmer, as reprisals by blocking hopes of re-selection are clearly a danger.

No wonder the existing set of drones have been cheering at PLP meetings.

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  1. SIR KEITH starmer = nowhere man going nowhere advised by mythical ‘strategist’ whose only aim is to feather the already over feathered nest of his “filthy rich”.
    At least Mandelson is true to sone of his words – ” I have NO PROBLEM with the FILTHY RICH ”

      1. Of course, Keith Stalin’s official stenographer had to get a pitch in early.

        Now, my guess is this, given the late posting of this article, perhaps the stenographer was involved in the formal note of investigation sent out to the elected leader of Young Labour only a few days ago?

        Just a consideration, but a worthy one at that.

      2. christopher – If commenting 1hr40mins after the first comment and after 10 others have already commented is classed as ‘getting a pitch in early.’ then I am guilty as charged. 🙄

      3. Less is less. Calm is as good as useless in these times. WITHDRAW ALL FUNDING from the parasites!!!

      4. Noted by someone who assumes Keir Starmer has Labour values, who assumes actually disagrees with the Tories about anything other than details, and who assumes there’s still a difference between centrism and Toryism.

    1. Can someone explain “Tony’s embarrassing Blair babes photo op” halfway down?

      1. It’s a picture of Blair with some of the 100 odd women elected in the 1997 election. The press named them Blair’s babes, a misogynistic term that stuck. Starmer, with a total lack of irony, has used an alliteration of his own ‘Starmers stars’ which will very likely cause people to cringe in years to come.

  2. Have the new Labour Party membership cards been printed yet with the words Democratic Socialst Party replaced by ‘Zionist UK Party’?

  3. “Starmer Stars!”

    Good Lord! Going on his performance as leader, during the past seventeen months, these people will have the inviting sobriquet of, ‘Starmer’s (disa)Stars’.

    Really, does no one in Southside Labour, know what they’re doing?

    You’d think the odds would shine the spotlight on, at least, one.

    1. George Peel, they KNOW what they r doing. As they’ve always done… but more dire… Expecting SIR mr REMAIN Keith starmer’s “essay” to be an F minus? You’re in 4 a BIG surprise! Max Headroom will b worse than the mother of all F minuses!!
      DEADLY DISMAL describes SIR Keith.
      “A rethreaded Nick Clegg” worn down.
      “Starmer’s not as dull & shifty as he looks.” He only looks & sounds it, but he’s REALLY fun.

      Some say his “ESSAY” will kill the brightest moods. Sad, especially as he’s busy killing everything else that’s good.

      But, extract positives from every situation. Keith’s “ESSAY” reading is a window. Get some popcorn + refreshments, invite friends to go enjoy a lovely stroll with in your local parks. Or if u can’t go out, wash your hair , clean behind the fridge … sort your vinyl collection… ANYTHING, while SIR Keith reads his “essay” for the few.
      Word is: policy free… completely… i kid u not. Keith’s “SAVING” policies for a 2025 General Election… 2023 will surprise him.
      No laughing matter. Prepare!!!

      1. Why WFM…are you needing some urgently?Medication 💊can still be obtained from the NHS or drop out centre Southside WC 1and all Hurry up WFM theyre only open till 1am and nurse Kaplan will deal with you.

      2. Oh it’s So sweet how you protect poor little signpost – he with the broken heart – every time I liaise with him Joe. That’s what I call twue fwendship! But he seems to be completely devoid of humour – and THAT’s no laughing matter! – and I was thinking how maybe he should have a chat with his shrink about changing his medication. It would be So nice to see him all chirpy and cheerful and chipper and living his life instead of being on here every single day all day long day after day after day all morose and mournful and splenitic. And at such a young age!

        It’s a very sad case, and I’d like to do w hat I can to help him out of the rut he’s in. But it’s GWEAT that he has YoU as a goood faithful fwend.

      3. Allan Howard….why do you make assumptions in your twisted brain,I have no idea what sex signpost is or what he she or both is other than a socialist with a passion for the Labour party and I applaud that rather than attack a person for showing some determination.and anger like most human beings do when motivated.I don’t always agree with posters on here but strange that you seem to stalk them especially new ones as I found out when you started the lies and nasty ones at that.I would have thought that the socialists have more than enough enemys without you joining the enemys and de motiviting them.Now I have met men like you in my early days in Ireland and because of their unbalanced whisperings we quickly dealt with them.because collaborators are not welcome in any group.especially a group that is fighting for freedom which is clearly not your warped agenda.

      4. Says Jokeefe, turning reality on its head like the good little fascist black propaganda shill he is.

        Black propagandists often do OTT stuff, as with his bollox about: ‘Now I have met men like you in my early days in Ireland and because of their unbalanced whisperings we quickly dealt with them’!

        Yur a complete and utter joke Joe! It’s pathetic beyond words!! But many thanks for the additional material!!!

      5. Make that TOTT stuff in fact!

        fs Joe, yur just making yerself a laughingstock AND exposing yerself even MORE for the black propagandist piece of fascist shite that you are.

        But I’m NOT complaining!!!

    2. “Really, does no one in Southside Labour, know what they’re doing?”
      They certainly do! They are working night and day to win the 1997 General Election.

  4. Holy mother of Christ…

    The country is going to hell in a handcart, and we get starmer’s stars

    Just fuck right off.

      1. Yes, you’ve already posted that. Why post it twice in the same thread?

      2. Ken burch. Steve H Hall centrist Dad as had a liquid lunch again…Apart from ramblings and memory loss hes got his finger stuck on the button.I expect him to have done a double today and flooded bot sentinel with more of his propaganda and dirge.Hes becoming a public nuisance after such a good slow start in the windys Caribbean bolt hole. Still we can’t deny him the free speech his misfits leader the knight denys the members,. that would be cruel and fanatical.

  5. Children’s author?

    Hmmm, Well it certainly ain’t gonna be Michael Rosen

    …Rowling has been a consistent Corbyn critic. My money’s on that crap-peddler.

    1. Thats just what I was thinking Toffee. She will fit in well in Starmer’s Labour – a multi millionaire whose hatred of Jeremy Corbyn was probably motivated by self interest. Jeremy’s election would have seen her tax liability increase along with many other well heeled money grubbing so called “celebrities” who briefed against him and the “fans” swallowed it all, hook line and sinker

    2. Toffee
      Rowling crossed my mind too but she been accused of transphobia. Whether Starmer will ignore these accusations and think Rowlings opposition to Corbyn is worth the transphobic backlash it may bring.

      1. Given that Jess Barnard would have been investigated by the party for objecting to the abuse of Trans people by a Labour Councillor and it was only her threat of legal action and the likelihood of protests at our up coming Conference that caused a change of heart at Southside, making transphobic remarks is unlikely to be an issue if multi millionaire Rowling is being considered for selection. Why would it- after all the Councillor who Jess responded to has got away with making transphobic comments and and other derogatory remarks about his fellow Labour members, He brought the party into disrepute but of course he like Rowling is to the right of the party so is permitted to do so.

      2. Given there are lots of other children’s authors this is at present speculation. However, as noted, such a choice would be incompatible with existing policy in this area.

        Yet, two other recently reported events may also be relevant??

        1. The withdrawn disciplinary correspondence against Young Labour’s Jess Barnard included Barnard’s critique of the views of a LP Councillor on this area of policy.

        2. The extension of the protected characteristics principle from the Forstater judgement to issue a disciplinary letter to an unnamed Party member for criticising the political views of another member on particular issues not related to this area of policy.

        The only way to square that circle, should the speculation on Rowling prove accurate, would be a 180 degree turn on Party policy based on the Forstater judgement and the principles laid down in that judgement.

        Such a scenario would be quite a canny move on the Part of the political right within the LP. It would not only associate the Labour Political right with a particular position it would also associate that position and anyone holding it with the political right.

        A move which would further exacerbate existing tensions within the political left in this policy area which is likely to split the left to the benefit of the political right.

      3. Smartboy,

        It seems worth reiterating the point made the other day on that thread:

        “The key complaint in this saga is the absence of due process. A set of protocols, principles and standards which operate on the basis of objective evidence rather than individual subjective opinion.

        Consequently, the first order of business in this discussion is to define the terms being bandied about. Who is defining the terms being used here and on what basis?

        The second order of business is consistency and reciprocation. Is the argument about due process being applied consistently and is it extended to all or just particular instances to suit specific convenience?

        This may help provide some context:

        Based, of course, on the principle of objective evidence rather than the Randian principle espoused by Foucault and his unthinking acolytes of subjective opinion.

      4. Rowling’s worth hundreds of millions (Christ knows why, like) of course keef’s gonna let something as trivial as that pass.

    3. JKR children’s author who writes about fantasy life in a public school. About right for Starmer’s Labour MP.

  6. It would be interesting to check these new “Starmer’s Stars” for their – ahem – diversity, and that all groups are represented in some sort of rational way to represent the minority’s numbers in the UK. I think we know they won’t be “left” …. but I wonder which groups will be over/under represented? I think we all know the answers to that one …..

    1. Starmer has alienated our BAME, Muslim, non Zionist Jewish, Socialist, Irish, Kashmiri and now our Trans members. He has turned our party into a narrow minded and racist one which permits the abuse of these members. Why would any decent person whatever their ethnic origin or gender identity want to be one of his “stars”,

      1. There are black centrist and Asian female centrist. We don’t vote for hues funny or not.

    1. Stay…and fight?erm…stars in my eyes ?..erm stay and?..feed the stars in my eyes and stay and fight comrades….no not stay and fight comrades theyve all gone erm haa “look its all the oldys fault they created this nightmare so ya ya Stay and it finaly and we can stay after all.we can all be stars on monthly payments to feed the Stars..message received and understood. “And in the kingdom of stars the handsome knight made the stars and the sun and all was happy in starland were children playing and ☺ songs of stars and the moon above.,IT never rained and the children sang happy songs inside the castle.And what of the starving children?..well the knight on his golden throne says” They are not stars so cast them out “.and all once again happy in the of the kingdom of the stars..the end.All copright exclusively for JKRowing bedtime story garden Bridge storys WC 1and all.

    2. Yes Richard….whilst the working-class are being buried in National insurance contributions massive increases the knight protects his Surrey home millionaes with a maximum eighty six thousand donation to care for the elderly which for the working-class people who live in their lower class homes the sale of the only legacy they have.We know it is the Torys making the legislation but do the so called Opposition have to ignore every chance to act like a Opposition party and maybe just once in a while take the opportunity offered and attack the government for the larges tax burden ever dumping on the shoulders of the working-class people via nationalist insurance and a targeted levy against the poorest..Even the most modest of homes in his Surrey home are worth a million whilst in underclass land north of Watford homes can still be bought for under a hundred thousand pounds….ITs not Rocket science the assets of the working class are being stripped away and sold off whilst the knight protects his Surrey stars.

  7. Where to begin???

    This turd in a swimming pool is relaunching again. How many times now? The forensic operator who will put labour 20 points ahead…

    The reality is that Corbyn was more popular. Corbyn didn’t relaunch himself. And Corbyn had to deal with media hostility that Starmer hasn’t seen in his worst nightmares.

    My (hypothetical) money is on Rowling. She can fund it with ease too.

    The labour shit show rolls on…

  8. The Neo-Liberal Lump of Wood and The Non-Political Crash Test Dummies!
    And it perhaps tells us something about the values of the people involved, to take a position which bypasses members having a say!
    Perhaps as Carly Simon sang: “You’re so vain.” (?)
    Members having no say on the top down chosen elite few, Labour’s founders will be turning in their graves!
    Genuine socialists in Labour have said: ‘“I am clinging on by my fingertips” why stay, pay and help that Neo-Liberal capitalist shower of ……
    Starmer’s Stars my arse!

  9. In the leadership campaign hustings, when RLB was promising to introduce open selection, Starmer nodded along and said the candidate selection process definitely needed to be made more democratic and that’s what he would seek to do.

    This however, seems like just a way of bringing more of his deeply unrepresentative(of members and Labour voters) RW mates in.

    Clearly they are never going to allow true membership democracy to rear its head again after the close call with Corbyn, are they. And they’ve no compunction about elbowing others out of the way to shut democracy down , their own interests.

    1. Andy – It was Corbyn that betrayed the membership by going behind our backs to stitch us up with ‘trigger ballots’. The votes were there for a decisive victory but Corbyn caved in to PLP threats and bottled it.

      1. It was Corbyn that betrayed the membership by going behind our backs to stitch us up with ‘trigger ballots’.

        Clutching at straws again, I see. From Luke Akehurst — hardly a Corbyn fan:

        This is not a new process. There wasn’t any time to run trigger ballots in the 2015 parliament due to the snap 2017 general election, but all Labour MPs faced a trigger ballot before every general election between 1992 and 2015.

      2. PW & Dave Hansell – I am relying on evidence from Len McCluskey

        The package of changes approved by conference including on reselection of MPs were those passed unanimously – I emphasise that, unanimously – by the national executive committee (NEC) on Saturday. That NEC of course has a majority of left delegates and supporters of Jeremy Corbyn.
        On the issue of reselection, the process for “trigger ballots” has been democratised. It removes scope for abuses that could have propped up an unpopular MP who had lost the confidence of the local membership, and lowering the threshold for commencing a reselection ballot. On the leadership issue, CLPs and unions have been given proper nominating rights for the first time, ensuring that any candidate will need to have a base in our movement outside parliament as well as within.
        These plans were presented with the full backing of Jeremy Corbyn at the NEC as a sensible and democratic way forward. I only regret that the leadership did not make that clearer at conference, since doing so would surely have taken much of the sting out of the debate even if some delegates might have remained unhappy.
        The position of Unite has been misrepresented, including by some who should know better. It is one thing for a couple of delegates to shout “shame on the unions” in the heat of the moment. We have all made heckles we might regret later. But it is quite another for an MP of Chris Williamson’s standing on the left to accuse Unite of voting against the union’s policy on mandatory reselection. That is simply false.
        Unite has indeed got a policy in support of mandatory reselection. Had that issue been voted on directly, the Unite delegation would have voted in line with policy. But we have another policy, which I recommend to Chris and all Labour MPs: we support Jeremy Corbyn.
        If Jeremy and his team – taking the overview of the entire political landscape, including the situation within the parliamentary party and the leadership of Momentum – urge a particular course of action, Unite is not going to go against that without the most serious reasons.
        The changes adopted may not be “mandatory reselection” as some define it but it is at the very least a “selective mandatory reselection” that will make it far easier for local parties to choose a different Labour candidate if that is their wish. That is probably why the Momentum national leadership joined nearly all trade unions in supporting it.
        For Unite, this is not an issue of theological purity. It is above all about supporting the Labour leadership, something that brings together the vast majority of the party today.

      3. Repeat a lie often enough to get people to believe it eh steveH. As already explained to you it was the NEC, not any one individual, which brought that 26 page composite to the 2018 Conference which buried the trigger ballots.

        And the Union block vote against the overwhelming Constituency delegate floor vote which got it through following the Reference Back of Conference Agenda on the issue by Labour International CLP.

        No one forced those Union delegates to vote the way they did.

        You constantly ask for evidence of others but don’t accept anything which contradicts your own fantasy narrative. Preferring instead to mislead.

        It would seem the services of the FBU are urgently required to deal with a pair of pants which are on fire.

  10. Stars In Their Eyes?
    “Tonight Mathew I’m gonna be a Right Wing Labour MP!
    I’m gonna offer crumbs for diverse working people!
    I’m gonna grovel to the rich & powerful and will NOT challenge their power!
    I’m NOT gonna try and politicise people cos I want the power for myself.
    And I WILL vote to bomb our Black & Brown bothers and sisters in other countries!”
    Mathew: “Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, these non- political Knobheads are…,Right Wing Labour MPs!”

  11. Bring Care Homes & staff into ‘the cradle to grave. NHS. Simple Socialism Keir?

    1. I agree with you, I think that is where Labour policy will end up.

      Will Byrd – a policy researcher for Labour for a Green New Deal.
      “A national care service is a properly funded, publicly-owned service, free at the point of need. Access to social care would work like the NHS. This would replace the discriminatory means-tested service currently available. It would also place people before profit, creating certainty over funding and protecting service users from the instability that comes with private ownership.
      A national care service would make social care community-based. It would be realigned towards independent living, empowering people to make their own decisions about the support they need to fully participate in their communities. More widely, decision-making would be moved away from central bodies and towards service users so that the implementation of social care policy is relevant to local conditions.

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