Tories’ sweary begging letter suggests even they don’t believe their bull****

The Conservative party has sent letters to pensioners outlining their claims to have improved the country and the dangers Labour poses.

They also included in the letter a pre-populated donation form – and both letter and form name a “Mr Youmustbe F***ingjoking” as their intended recipient.

Twitter user Laura McCormack tweeted pictures of the documents, which arrived in an envelope with the official Conservative party logo:

lm sweary.png

In fact, the letters suggest that whoever was running the mailmerge had used ‘Youmustbe F***ingjoking’ as a placeholder while completing the address data, as the address was correct for the couple receiving the letter.

Which in turn suggests that whoever was compiling the merge had a low opinion of the Tories’ claims – if this was done by a Tory staffer, then it seems even the Tories don’t believe their claims of competence and achievement.

The full letter, in all its glory:


(images copyright of @lauraamccormack).

A Tory spokesperson – which confirms the letter was sent by the party, in spite of claims to the contrary by some Conservative supporters on social media – said:

It is unacceptable that this letter was sent out and we apologise for any offence caused. We are currently investigating this matter to ensure it does not happen again.

Adding insult to injury, the pre-completed donation form invites Mr F***ingjoking to send money for the ‘Campaign Manager Fund’ – presumably the same campaign manager who sent out this campaign?

Still, nice to know the Tories have the same opinion of their claims and promises that we do…

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  1. I (and a number of my leftie friends) got emails from the Tory party inviting job applications to be campaigns managers for them. I was tempted!
    Seems like I was not the only one to consider it.

  2. “…will help us defeat socialism in our country.”

    To get the full effect you need to read it aloud in the Queen’s voice…

  3. The first letter I have seen that anticipates the response in he Dear beginning.
    Wonder if the Tories outsourced it?

  4. I hate to spoil a good story but … do you not think it is more likely that the recipient was, at some point in the past, canvassed by Tory campaigner who asked him to put his name on something where the canvasser already had the address (or number and postcode). The recipient wrote YouMustBe FuckingJoking across the canvassers form and this was duly added to the database, presumably by a poorly paid data entry clerk who got pleasure in doing what he was told.

    1. Not according to the account of the person who posted the pictures – and similar merge jokes have backfired before

  5. Dear, Mrs May, thank you, for caring so much.
    Could I ask you a really massive favour?
    Would you send an Articulated Lorry, Full of your Tory voting literature, to my house?
    The reason I ask, as a pensioner on a very low pension, I find it very difficult to heat my 1 bedroom home and keep warm!
    Hence, myself asking you, so I can, “BURN YOUR LYING TORY VOTING LITERATURE”!
    Please reply S A P.

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