Humour News

Caption contest: Johnson bores poor Tetley workers – and apparently himself – just trying to enjoy their tea-break

Expressions tell all

Boris Johnson – in yet another closed-off, tightly-managed PR stunt avoiding real public interaction – has today saddled a small group of long-suffering Tetley tea workers with his presence when they were just trying to enjoy their hard-earned break:

Even Johnson looked bored with himself, but the expressions on the faces of the poor ‘captive audience’ tell all – including the woman whose eye has been caught by colleague off-camera and is trying to suppress the urge to laugh.

What would your caption be? The top three will be tweeted from the SKWAWKBOX Twitter account for the world to enjoy. Add yours in the comments here, on the associated Twitter thread or on the article on the SKWAWKBOX Facebook page to enter.


Johnson’s rare encounters with actual people seem always to end in disaster – but his stage-managed PR stunts don’t go that much better.

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  1. These overalls may have fitted Winston, But they are squishing my balls. Crikey!!

  2. As the gimlet stares of the workers turned to sniggers, Boris realised someone had slipped some used teabags on to his seat.

  3. Just remembered, that after a wet walk in the morning, he’d forgot to remove his dog from the Brexit microwave.

  4. Caption reads: ” is this Earl Grey or Darjeeling? I don’t normally drink what the plebs wah sorry workers drink”…

  5. I think the woman, who has a mischievous look on her face, is thinking: ‘If only they knew what is in that tea. Time will tell’.

  6. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but how can I mug you all off. Dom ?Dommmmmm ?

  7. I didn’t realise that being a corporate bootlicker would be this sordid and dirty…

  8. If only eric pickles hadn’t spaffed all the money on biscuits…

    1. Gobshite on PR visit toTetley tea factory is given job of checking each & every one of the 2000 perforations in every teabag…

  9. I think I will go back to PGTips after watching that farce…never did like Tetleys now I know why.!

  10. 23 lousy Tory policies they are hoping we’ll forget.
    Full details for each policy can be found at the link below.
    (ps item 5 is also missing in the original article)

    1. Promising to build 200,000 Starter Homes and building zero

    2. They spent £225,000 to mislead people about Universal Credit

    3. They botched privatising probation – and then had to pay to fix it

    4. They failed to investigate Islamophobia in their own party

    6. Slashed police numbers by over 20,000

    7. Tried to sign ferry contracts with a company that didn’t own any ferries

    8. Left grieving families without bereavement benefits

    9. Universal Credit led to people selling sex to survive

    10. They abandoned women hit by rise in the state pension age

    11. The benefit change that affected almost 600,000 children

    12. Tried to make it harder to get justice in Employment tribunals

    13. Massive hikes to tuition fees

    14. Failed to invest in public health – leading to a reported 130,000 preventable deaths

    15. Made rape victims prove their ordeal

    16. Scrapped nurses’ bursaries

    17. Tried to bring back fox hunting

    18. Cracked down on trade unions standing up for things like not dying at work

    19. Slashed green subsidies

    20. Tried to impose fees for court cases

    21. Cut inheritance tax for the rich

    22. Gutted school funding

    23. Introduced the Benefit Cap

    24. Implemented the Bedroom Tax

  11. Vlad Johnson: “Well I’m just flabbergasted, that’s all I can say.”

    “Here I am, dressed like a worker, drinking tea out of a working class mug and you have the audacity to ask me to pay into the tea break kitty, what a cheek!”

    “You seem to forget that it was me, out of the goodness of my heart, who gave you all Zero Hour contracts…and there’s a Food Bank down the road, plenty of beans there to feed you kids if they’re hungry, that is what you working class types eat isn’t it? I mean…we could always give you some cake.”

  12. Oh dear! I thought when you said we were going to tea party I thought it would be the republican one not this?

  13. Your Tory-supporting boss says that if any of you say anything which might embarrass me, you’ll be fired.

  14. :”Don’t worry Tata Global Beverages (owners of Tetley) won’t replace you with 100,000 cheaper Indians until I get brexit done and sign the trade deal with India… “

  15. Why don’t you fuck off to PG Tips, their monkeys are more intelligent than you

  16. I’m…uh..apparently, very …uh … clever. So what the f*ck am I doing here!

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