Breaking: Labour expects 5 MPs to leave Monday

Labour break-away now expected on Monday – but number set to be countable on one hand

Right-wing MPs planning to leave the Labour Party appear to have had no fewer than three abortive ‘launches’ last Thursday and Friday.

The first was scuppered by the SKWAWKBOX’s revelation that parliamentary Labour sources were expecting Chuka Umunna to announce his departure on Thursday night, depriving Labour quitters of the ‘Valentine’s Day Massacre’ headlines their egos had planned.

The following day, two separate bookings for large Portcullis House meeting rooms were cancelled by Umunna and another MP.

Now Labour sources say that the party expects a breakaway group – almost literally a ‘splinter’ group, given its size – to announce a departure tomorrow.

Assuming of course that timidity doesn’t win out yet again.

Those expected to bale out are just five MPs – a couple of those still ‘soft’ – with names that will surprise no one. A sixth MP is said to be still considering her options.

SKWAWKBOX comment:

From a starting point of over seventy percent of the ‘PLP’ (parliamentary Labour party) just two and a half years ago who participated in the spectacularly unsuccessful ‘chicken coup’, the on-off-on(?) splitters can now muster barely two percent of Labour’s post-2017 complement of MPs.

And what a grouplet – MPs that almost no Labour members will miss and whose backs many, many, many will be more than glad to see.

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  1. I have flu, and my eyes read “sphincter group” instead of “splinter group”. Odd. It made perfect sense at the time.

    1. I suspect you may have stumbled onto the truth, Florence!
      It can’t be easy synchronising five nervous Nellies’ sphincters.
      A serial shared lack of anal fortitude would explain all the cancelled ‘surprise’ press conferences.
      Their powerful and united challenge to the traitor Corbyn would be somewhat diluted by having to leave the podium in a brown rush.
      Not that the news-poodles would ever tell.

    1. Six…Only?

      They never make it easy for us! Now we have to roll-up our sleeves to root out the other 94 or so.

      I was excited to read the The Sun headline: ON THE BRINK Labour ‘teetering on edge of historic split’ as up to 100 MPs including Ed Miliband and Yvette Cooper…’.
      Needless to say, was so disappointed that the story was anything but. But a memorable sentence from the non-story: ‘One of the potential splitters has reportedly told colleagues that if they walk away they want to “burn the house down” on their way out.’…am still ROFL!

      1. They couldn’t light a fart with a candle. Or Four Candles.

  2. Wow, it’s a non story, Blairites threatening to leave, couldn’t give a fudge.

  3. All they need to complete their political suicide mission, is to call themselves ….

    … Wait for it …

    … Wait for it …

    … New Labour

    Then I wouldn’t need another joke for a year.

  4. Oh no! Not the return of the gang of four?

    Whats great about all of this is, if they have the guts to go we don’t have to deselect them.

  5. Maybe when the other thirty or so hard line PLP Rightists see the political earthquake the five , or six, leaving , produces , they will bugger off too. Or maybe not .

    1. Yeah, we’ve heard this sort of talk before. They know it means political oblivion and anb end to their cushy lifestyle…

  6. Its a great shame the the Dead Centre Party is unable to assemble a bakers dozen of traitors to jump ship and establish the latest corporatist, neoliberal, wanton warmongering political grouping that billions of folk globally will vote for.

    Obviously, with ego’s larger than a London Double Decker Bus, these unprincipled folk seem unaware of the actual sociopolitical undercurrents emerging in much of the Western World – in a nutshell, real people with real concerns want fundamental change, not a continuation of the Blair/Brown/Cameron/Osborne axis that has caused great harm to many, both in the Uk and overseas.

  7. In 1981 The Gang of Four who deserted the Party consisted of a few Labour figures who were known to the public. They were Roy Jenkins, David Owen , Shirley Williams and that other bloke.
    I guarantee that if any deserters emerge on Monday they will definitely fall in to “that other bloke” category.

    1. I won’t be happy until ALL of the Blairite Plotters leave the party.

  8. Let them piss off .The sooner the better ! There are plenty of good people that will replace them and do a better job fighting for working people !

    1. Wrong thread. This one is:

      Easy mistake to make in these Brexit-obsessed times, but a mistake nonetheless.

  9. The original Gang of Four, David Owen, Bill Rodgers, Shirley Williams & Roy Jenkins were intellectual giants of the Labour Party. The new breakaway gang of 5 or 6 together don’t have the intellect of one of the original Gang of Four! Their 15 minutes of fame will be trounced by an outpouring of joy that they have at last left the party. And what happened to the Gang of Four? Oblivion, subsumed into the Liberal Democrat’s that are at such a low ebb that their only hope is to catch a wave that’ll take to their promised land inhabited by David Steel and a wind turbine operated by that well known windbag, Neil Kinnock.

    Not so much Desert Island Discs but P*cks!

    1. Why leave out Wes Streeting, or any of the other unmentionables that formed a cordon around Ruth Smeeth at the witch hunt of Mark Wadsworth last spring?

      This whole episode makes me think of that ad on television where someone ends up looking oh so happy and carefree after taking a dose of maximum strength laxative.

      Happy days for Labour coming soon…?

    2. Ordinarily, I’d say you’ve made a mistake and put down the wrong angela…

      However, they’re both as utterly useless and cringe-inducing as each other. It’s just a shame the choices are restricted to 5 or 6. Should be multiplied by 10 at least.

      And of course, there isn’t any single one of them will resign their seat to contest a by-election, the bloodsucking, freeloading rodents.

    3. Three out of “five” right. Not bad.

      But like The Toffee said, there should be ten times this number and by-elections everywhere to stop them betraying the people, crapping on democracy, collecting their £77,379 per annum and propping up the divided Tories.

  10. ‘kinell…I thought Groundhog Day was February 2nd?

    And only 5 or 6?

  11. According to BBC R4 Today – 10:00hrs on College Green is the time and place for this ‘momentous’ political event.

    1. “it is understood Mr Umunna is linked to an event on the “future of British politics” [FFS] that will be held in Westminster from 10am today.”

      It looks like the ‘usual suspects’ have been binging on their own hubris again. Their problem has always been that they have deluded themselves that they are more important than the party.

      1. I think it’s worse than that… I think they’ve convinced themselves that they’re ‘traditional’ Labour (I even heard the BBC’s Norman Smith refer to them as that today) and that Corbyn supporters are just too stupid to see the ‘truth according to Tony’.

  12. Announcement on LBC at 10am rumoured to be about the breakaway, following an hour of Tom Bowers ;promoting his dangerous hero comic book trashing Corbyn for living basically. Skwarkbox can you please challenge Nick Ferrari for his propaganda show at some point. It was him who presented a so called dossier on antisemitism for Cressida Dick to investigate about six months ago. Not as peep has been heard since!

    1. I wouldn’t hold out much hope of ferrari admitting he’s had his arse handed to him again..

      He’s still convinced Corbyn’s a ‘chump’ over ‘traingate’.

  13. This is getting tedious. I’ll be quite happy to see the back of Umunna and chums.

    But forget the celebrations – I’m more interested in seeing the back of the Tory government, and, splits are never great news for Labour in electoral terms (seems not to make so much difference to the Tories). Which is why many of us stayed relatively quiet during the Blair years.

    … and then there are the motley bunch who voted with the Tories over the Cooper amendment and didn’t even get a rap over the knuckles, gifting May a rabbit hole.

  14. Leslie, smith & shuker were gone anyway after losing their respective NC motions. Berger hid behind her jewishness and pregnancy or else she’d have been NC’d, too.

    The rest are also useless arseholes. None will give up their seats to fight a by-election so come election day it’s gonna be a bit of a bastard that I’ll have to stay up all night just to have my gloat for the two mins or so some of them might get when they’re punted.

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