The full ‘survey’ that has Tory chair Lewis’ knickers in a twist

Tory chair Brandon Lewis is upset. He sent a rather dreary survey to his constituents – or to be precise, according to locals, to his affluent constituents in an area with high levels of deprivation – asking them about their priorities – so far, so humdrum.

lewis surv

But a graphic designer in his constituency took exception to the circulation of the survey and its detachment from the reality of Tory Britain and decided to design his own version, which is a lot more entertaining – and far more reality-based – than the original.

Mr Lewis got his undies in a bit of a bunch about the spoof survey and made an issue out of a little ‘pithy’ language in it when a local Labour councillor pointed expressed his amusement:

lewis gylabour.png

A couple of excerpts from the survey were included in a report by a local paper, but the SKWAWKBOX is delighted to bring its readers the full document for their enjoyment:


And for those who might be curious, this blog is also happy to confirm it has no problems with the language in question 8 – although a personal favourite is ‘Which animal do you hate the most?’.

Enjoy – but please do be aware that sharing this widely is likely to annoy the Tory party and particularly its chair.

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  1. Here’s another “survey” Brandon Lewis has been promoting all about if you can trust Jeremy Corbyn: https://jeremyspromises.com/ It’s very much a tory propaganda greatest hit(job)s they also ask for your email

    “Enter your email and we’ll let you know when we update this site with new promises and new information.”

    I’m not sure this constitutes informed consent under GDPR there’s no privacy policy, T&Cs etc. Anyway I’ve let information commissioners office know just so they can check. After all nobody is above the law and those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear etc.

  2. Strange how soon Carillion disappeared from the MSM and the public mind. Almost as if the two things were related in some way.
    When ‘How to Lose Seven Billion Pounds’ came on last night it hadn’t been on my mind since it broke either.
    It is now.
    Thanks Ch4 Dispatches.
    The collapse should have been a watershed moment, as I understand Jeremy said, and the programme last night should have been a watershed moment but, as even the Torygraph said after the programme last night, it probably won’t be.

    I hadn’t known ‘Brandon’ (wtfdtcf?) was the voice of women in politics either – clearly I haven’t paid enough attention to ̶h̶e̶r̶ him.
    Even if the other prisoners don’t know that I expect he’ll still get the jist in the showers.
    Don’t know how he’ll keep that hair looking so lovely though so maybe not.

  3. Each question in the survey requires one additional option to ensure that the results are truely meaningful.
    “I fully endorse tha Dail Mail’s line on is one (whatever it is).”

  4. Which type of action/comment/tweet is unworthy of any any investigation and/or disciplinary action?

    ‘Splat the chav’? (bradley)
    Referring to female staff as ‘Sugar tits’ and sending them to buy dildos in sex shops? (garnier)
    Calling women ‘twats’? (fabricant)
    Lying to parliament? (Take your pick)
    Islamophobic comments? (Take your pick)

    …Or just about anything boris johnson says and does?

    (Answer: ALL of the above – and much, MUCH more)

  5. Missed out ‘Islamophobia’ & ‘losing child-abuse files’! What a record!!!

    1. In fairness, may ‘lost’ the files before lewis became party chairman…But it’s another example of the rats takin’ the p*ss.

      On second thoughts, why should I be fair to twunts that’ve caused me & mine nowt but grief? Hang the f**king lot of them out to dry.

  6. Don’t you just love it, when a plan comes together.
    I’ve shared and put my words to the blog!
    That should bring the Tories down!
    Jeremy, General Election coming this week.
    Get yourself ready to be leader of our once glorious country!
    Bring it back as a place fit to live, under our “SOCIALIST BANNER”!

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