Hapless Tory spokesperson Michael Fallon has clearly never quite grasped the old adage that when you’re in a hole, you should stop digging. Instead, he seems to subscribe to the principle that when you’re in a hole, come back with a monster-machine sized digger and really go for it.
He might also somehow think he’s playing ‘Top Trumps’ and be going for a full set. Fresh from catastrophic meltdowns on BBC television and Channel 4 News, he decided he needed ITV for his implosion-card collection and appeared on the channel’s Peston show to try to defend the indefensible.
In digging terms, he seems to be trying to reach Australia.
Last week, Fallon – not the brightest penny in the pocket at the best of times – was bamboozled by Channel 4’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy, who read him a Boris Johnson quote, which Fallon proceeded to attack in the crassest terms, thinking it had been said by Jeremy Corbyn.
His face when he realised he had screwed up again was a picture.
On Sunday, he came armed with a copy of Johnson’s speech – but still got it completely wrong, to the hilarious exasperation of interviewer Robert Peston as Fallon humiliated himself again by trying to argue that black was white: