#ToryGlastonbury shows they’ve learned – absolutely nothing

Fresh from trying to manufacture a grassroots movement aping the pro-Corbyn Momentum with ‘Moggmentum’, the Tories have decided to, er, manufacture a grassroots event, with what has been dubbed the ‘Tory Glastonbury’.

Conservative MP George Freeman has decided to set up a ‘Conservative Ideas Festival”, saying,

Why is it just the left who have all the fun in politics?”

In spite of mainstream and social media dubbing the event – tongue so far in cheek it’s almost a piercing – ‘Tory Glastonbury’, Mr Freeman considers his event to be a

cross between Hay-on-Wye and the Latitude festival.

Of course, it’s highly likely that Freeman was just scrabbling for any comparison that didn’t include “We want to be like Jez at Glasto” (or whatever the Tory equivalent words would be), but his alternatives were not much more appropriate.

Glastonbury is attended by around 175,000 people, Latitude by tens of thousands. Hay on Wye sees a quarter of a million visitors or more. Each of these events sees attendees from all over the country and around the world.

George Freeman plans

an invitation-only audience of 150-200.

Yes, you read that right – 150-200 people will attend the Tory Glastonbury. By invitation only – can’t have any riff-raff turning up to our ‘mass event’ to ‘have all the fun’.

And so huge and complex will this event be that it will require a team of as many as twenty people – including no fewer than 10 Tory MPs – to set it up. Twenty! Mind-boggling.

You can’t buy authenticity. You can’t manufacture a movement. You can’t claim to be Glastonbury/Hay/Latitude with 150-200 people – even if you are planning to spend over £25,000.

Tories have learned nothing – in spite of it being right under their noses.

Fortunately, as so often, Twitter has saved the day by turning what would be merely excruciatingly embarrassing on its own into a celebration of Tory detachment from the real world. Here are a few of the best:

Just in case you’ve forgotten, this is what the Tories set out to mimic:

But why should the left have all the fun?

Why indeed…

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13 responses to “#ToryGlastonbury shows they’ve learned – absolutely nothing

  1. Pingback: #ToryGlastonbury shows they’ve learned – absolutely nothing | Hercules space·

  2. Pingback: #ToryGlastonbury shows they’ve learned – absolutely nothing | paulh121·

  3. I am 65 and a member of the Labour Party. I am delighted to say that I have many young comrades in my branch with whom I share the same enthusiasm for equality , social justice and the common cause. Because of this we are united by a genuine respect for one another regardless of our ages.
    Please let the Tories go on believing that Labour has more younger members and supporters than them because old gits like me are “really cool” and know all about youth culture and stuff. It’s completely wrong of course but it is going to be hilarious watching the Tories attempt to patronise what is in fact a group of very astute people.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I thought the quote which best sums this Tory effort is this:

    <>

    This is what passes for “solidarity pricing” in the Tory ranks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whoops, here’s the quote!

      …. One sympathetic Conservative MP told the FT the idea was “very trendy” but would need “a lot of expensive booze” for him to attend.

      Liked by 1 person

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