Hammond demands #DrWho pay-cut because ‘a woman can do it’

BBC sources tell the SKWAWKBOX that an enraged Phil Hammond stormed from the set of Sunday’s Marr Show demanding to speak to the producers of Doctor Who.

Hammond was reportedly fuming about the decision to cast Jodie Whittaker as the programme’s first female Doctor – without cutting the role’s pay.

Hammond – presumably traumatised by yet another ‘car crash’ interview on Marr, where he let slip that the Cabinet is tearing itself apart and refused to deny that he had called public sector workers ‘overpaid’ – was reported to be raving that if playing Doctor Who was so easy even a woman can do it’ then there was no way he was going to let the BBC pay full rate for it.

Mr Hammond then appeared to suffer a complete collapse. Emergency services were called and he was taken away by a team of exclusively female medics who were heard telling him:

Don’t worry, Phil – you’ll be fine. Multiple enemas are so easy even a woman can give them.

(We shouldn’t need to warn people, but just in case: this is satire!)

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